Dear God, Give Me Strength

I love my children, very very much. But some days...some days are just plain hard. Today is one of those days. It builds up slowly through the week, and then that one day hits, the one that I spend every minute after noon looking out the window for Josh's car to pull up so I can hand at least one boy off to him. I feel like I have to occassionally share these days, so someday when the kids are older and they possibly read this, they'll know what life was really like. Not just the fun things, and smiling at the camera, but the other stuff. The stuff that I'll probably block out as they get older.
Gavin, typically, is my easy one. I say that knowing full well that by teenage years the opposite might be true. He's pretty happy just to wonder around the house playing with odd toys, stacking boxes, and going through cabinets. Our only difficulties here is that he still doesn't sleep through the night, and we'll have those odd days that he just wants to be carried ALL day. So really, this post isn't so much about him.
Jayden is what you'd call a spirited child. Depending on the stage of the phase that he's in, this can be wonderful or overwhelming. Right now, I think I'll call this the Light Bulb Stage. Any of you reading this that has been around Jayden in the last month knows exactly what I'm talking about. He is obsessed with burnt out light bulbs. He could find the light bulb on the back of the tree, a foot back that was burnt out, and he would tell everyone. The first week or so, it was kind of funny. The second week, we were all stocking up on light bulbs to give Jayden less to talk about. By now, it's just getting annoying. Some of the light sockets in our house just don't work. We can't do anything about it, we tell him this, but he does not let up. I know, that sounds harsh, but try going through Walmart with this kid, and you'll see. (He also points out broken floor tiles, broken shopping cart handles, and if he's out of the cart he is facing the shelves).
Jayden is a kid that is always moving, thinking, and talking. He has to see how everything works, and then ask about a million questions, or at least enough questions that he inevitably loops right back to the first question he asked. His emotions are loud, and they can go to one extreme to another in a split second. It's probably obvious, he spends a lot of time in time out. He isn't a bad kid, he just gets wrapped up into what he's doing so much that he loses sight of the rules.
Today, just didn't start out right. It was the day that Gavin wanted to be held to start with, which is fine some days, but today it just wasn't working. Jayden was Jayden time ten. He had a million things to ask and to say, I could hardly start one task without him asking me to do 3 or 4 other things..."Mommy, come here! Want to play a game? Look at THIS! I want more milk."
There were a few times that I had peace. Peace that I paid for. The first time, I was showering, and Jayden and Gavin were playing in Gavin's room with the door shut. The sounds were happy, so I left them to it as I dressed and got ready. Jayden finally came barging into my room with his super loud "Mommy, look at this!!" and then ran back into Gavin's room. I took my time. I knew it was something I wasn't going to want to see, so I delayed it. I made my way into Gavin's room, and Jayden exclaimed, "Look, EXPLOSION!!" Every single toy, rug, book off the bookshelf, and anything else that was within reach was thrown into a huge pile in the middle of Gavin's room. Jayden was thrilled, until I made him clean Gavin's room.
The second time, I had just made Jayden a special snack while Gavin was napping. I had just finished making a snack for Jayden, and hopped on the computer for a couple of minutes. I heard giggling coming from the kitchen, and Jayden occassionally whisper "come here Jasper." Once again, I suspected something, but I really didn't think it was anything too major. Then Jasper came running into the room with an almost empty bottle of green food coloring. I ran into the kitchen to find food coloring EVERYWHERE, on the cabinets, the floor, and Jasper. I was livid. Jayden was promptly put in time out as I scrubbed the floor, fuming, scrubbed the cabinets, still fuming, and washed Jasper. As I watched the green water wash off of Jasper and go down the drain...the laughter started. Of course, as a parent, I've learned NEVER to let a kid see you laugh, so I hid it, dismissed Jayden from time out, and looked out the window for Josh.
I know it wasn't a horrible day, just one of those days. One out of many many days.

6 Response to "Dear God, Give Me Strength"

  1. mandy Says:

    at the time all this is happening you just get so fired up....but after reading this and looking back, you start laughing...

    hope this weekend is better for you

  2. Shelene Says:

    Oh Chelsea, I hear you. I definitely have more of those kind of days that I'd prefer with Christopher. I actually bought a book about raising a spirited child awhile back but have been too busy to read it! I can only imagine how tough some days must be with two little guys and only so much humor and patience to get you through the tough days.

    Just know that you are a fantastic mom and Jayden will love and appreciate you now and when he's older, regardless of how many times he goes to time out. :)

    Thanks for sharing a peek into this side of mommy-hood - it makes me feel less alone on those kinds of days...

  3. Cernin4 Says:

    I hate to say it, but I am laughing as I type this! I'm sorry! Jayden is just a curious kid! Taylor called Colin a cry baby the other day, and I said, "No, he isn't" and of course guess who was laughing? Tim, of all people! This keeps your life interesting doesn't it! Keep smilin!! You're an awesome mommy!!
    Love yas and it was great to see you as alwasys!!

  4. The Arnold Family Says:

    Yeah. I totally hear you. When things get like this, I always remind myself they SHOULD chill out when they become and older child. Rarely do they stay out of control wild forever. It will get better. It will.

  5. Anonymous Says:

    Chelsea you know we think you are a super mom so cheer up! Easier said than done, I know. Jayden is such a loving kid, but he just forgets that sometimes it,s hard to remember that! I hope your week goes better, not sure how it will with this cold weather to keep him inside. Love to all, G-Ma XO XO

  6. Meghan Says:

    Hi!

    Thanks so much for your comment and ideas!! They are definitely helpful. Though I don't have a laptop, I do have an iPod Touch, which allows me to use Facebook, AIM, YouTube, email and to surf the internet... and I downloaded a movie and a couple of games on it, some of which my visitors can play with me. Anyway, I'm hinting to keep your Facebook jazzy next week if you have time so I have stuff to read. :)

    Yeah... one difference about being in the hospital for labor and MY visit is that at least mine is pain-free! I feel pretty sick, but I don't know what a contraction feels like OR the anticipation of having one!!

    Anyway, thanks for thinking of me. :)